When Your Feelings Are Dismissed: The Impact of Emotional Invalidation

Have you ever opened up to someone about how you're feeling, only to be told to “get over it,” “calm down,” or “look on the bright side”? While these responses might be well-meaning, they can leave you feeling even more alone and misunderstood. This is called emotional invalidation, and it can have a serious effect on mental health—especially over time.

At UPI Health, we regularly work with clients who have internalized the message that their emotions are “too much,” “wrong,” or “a burden.” If this sounds familiar, you're not alone—and therapy can help you learn to validate your own experience and build healthier, more supportive relationships.

What Is Emotional Invalidation?

Emotional invalidation occurs when someone dismisses, minimizes, or ignores your emotional experience. It can sound like:

• “You're overreacting.”

• “Other people have it worse.”

• “That didn’t really happen that way.”

• “Just be grateful.”

• “You're too sensitive.”

Sometimes, emotional invalidation is unintentional—people may simply not know how to respond to difficult emotions. But whether intentional or not, repeated invalidation can cause real harm.

Why Emotional Invalidation Hurts

Emotional invalidation communicates a message: Your feelings don't matter. Over time, this can lead to:

• Low self-esteem: You begin to question your perceptions and feel ashamed of your emotions.

• Emotional suppression: You may bottle up feelings to avoid judgment or rejection.

• Relationship strain: Communication becomes strained when you don't feel safe expressing yourself.

• Anxiety and depression: Repeated invalidation can increase mental health symptoms, especially if it starts in childhood.

• Confusion and self-doubt: You might wonder if you're “too emotional” or “making things up,” even when your feelings are valid.

  
  

Where Does Invalidation Show Up?

Emotional invalidation can happen anywhere—at home, at work, in friendships, or romantic relationships. It’s especially harmful when it comes from caregivers during childhood. For example, if a child is told to “stop crying” or punished for showing anger or fear, they may grow up believing that emotions are dangerous or shameful.

This makes it harder to regulate emotions as an adult—and more difficult to trust your own inner experiences.

How Therapy Helps Rebuild Validation and Emotional Trust

In therapy, one of the most healing experiences is simply being heard—without judgment, advice, or dismissal. A therapist creates a safe space where your emotions are welcomed, explored, and respected.

In therapy, you can:

• Learn to recognize when invalidation is happening

• Understand how it has shaped your emotional responses

• Practice naming and validating your own emotions

• Develop assertive communication skills to set boundaries

• Learn how to seek out emotionally supportive relationships

You deserve to feel like your emotions matter—because they do.

How to Start Validating Yourself

If you’ve experienced chronic invalidation, it can feel unfamiliar or even uncomfortable to honor your own emotions. Here are some steps you can try:

1. Name What You Feel

Instead of pushing emotions away, try identifying them: “I feel frustrated,” “I feel scared,” or “I feel lonely.”

2. Remind Yourself It’s Okay to Feel

You might say, “It makes sense that I feel this way given what I’ve experienced.” Emotions are information—not flaws.

3. Journal Without Judgment

Let your thoughts and feelings out on paper, without editing or analyzing them.

4. Check In With Your Body

Emotions often show up physically. Tuning into sensations (tight chest, heavy shoulders, etc.) can help you reconnect with your inner experience.

5. Practice Saying No

Part of validating yourself is honoring your needs, even when they’re different from what others expect.

You Deserve to Be Heard—Even By Yourself

Emotional invalidation teaches us to doubt ourselves. But healing begins when we start to listen inward—with compassion, curiosity, and respect. Therapy can be the place where you learn to reclaim your emotional voice and rewrite the story you’ve been told about your worth.

Ready to feel seen, heard, and supported in your mental health journey? Connect with a therapist at UPI Health today and take your first step toward emotional clarity and confidence.